


You Were Too Much At Times

by Amy (InnitMarvelous), I love Tony Stark 3000 FOREVER (InnitMarvelous), InnitMarvelous, tsg (InnitMarvelous)



Series: Dear Tony [5]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Blaming one's self, Bodies wear out, Everyone misses Tony so much, F/M, Family, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Letter, Pepper telling Tony some not so great news, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Self-Blame, Time goes on, discussion of past injuries, injuries, mobility issues, no matter how much you want it not to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:53:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23746375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InnitMarvelous/pseuds/Amy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/InnitMarvelous/pseuds/I%20love%20Tony%20Stark%203000%20FOREVER, https://archiveofourown.org/users/InnitMarvelous/pseuds/InnitMarvelous, https://archiveofourown.org/users/InnitMarvelous/pseuds/tsg
Summary: I know it's been a very long time since I have written you a letter, and I'd say I am sorry but we both know, wherever you are, you're not really reading these letters. So when I write the awful words I am about to write, you won't see them, and you won’t be able to beat yourself up yet again.
Relationships: Tony Stark and James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Tony Stark/Pepper Potts
Series: Dear Tony [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1608019
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	You Were Too Much At Times

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes place ten years after **Avengers: Endgame**.

Dear Tony, 

It's been ten years since... well I think you know.

I know it's been a very long time since I have written you a letter, and I'd say I am sorry but we both know, wherever you are, you're not really reading these letters. So when I write the awful words I am about to write, you won't see them, and you won’t be able to beat yourself up yet again.

Rhodey can't walk.

It's not the leg braces you made him that are the problem.

No, the problem is his own body. From what I understand it, as he understands from what the doctors have told him, is that the nerves in the area of his original spine injury have degenerated even further. They're so gone that what little bit of feeling he had gained back over the years is once again gone. So sadly, he is wheelchair bound now, and the doctors say he will be for the rest of his life.

He says that he's okay with what's happened, he’s made peace with the loss, and he's glad that you're not here to blame yourself about this. 

That didn't sound right did it?

It didn't quite sound right either when he said it. He realized quickly that it sounded like he's glad you're dead, and of course that is not the case at all. He _misses_ you, Tony, like we all do. He misses you so much that there have been times I have thought that maybe losing you was far more worse for him than it was for me . 

I know you and I are... _were_ soulmates. I have no doubts or questions about that because ever since you left me, I don't feel like a complete person anymore. I know I never can never be complete again because the other half of me is gone _forever_.

In a way, I think losing you has, in a way, been a similar experience for Rhodey. You knew each other and were best friends for almost forty years. You were also more than just his best friend, you were also his brother, just like he was your brother too.

You know brotherhood doesn't seem to go far enough though to describe what I know was between you.

The closest term to what I know, and can think of to describe what you were to one another is platonic soulmates.

Yes, that is it.

You were his platonic soulmate, Tony. I know this because even though Rhodey has continued to live his life, he has never quite been the same as he was before you died. I know everyone misses you, but there are times I think there is no one else other than Rhodey, Morgan, and me who could ever miss you more. 

But the fact he loved you so much, Tony, is the reason he is... relieved that you won't ever be able to blame yourself for something that wasn't your fault to begin with. He told me that he told you as much at the time shortly after his _accident_. He also said he knew his words went in one ear and out the other one. It's sad to think about but I know he is right about this, that you still always blamed yourself.

You blamed yourself for too much, Tony, and you carried too much of the weight of the world on your shoulders.

You blamed yourself for the snap that killed half of life in the entire universe. 

You blamed yourself for Peter’s _death_ , because you always thought it would have survived if he’d been on Earth. 

Somethings were not your fault but you thought you were to blame for them anyway.

I wish you hadn't been that way, Tony.

Maybe you'd still be here if you hadn't been, because with the blame you laid on yourself, you always had the need to make things right.

**Author's Note:**

> One more fanfic in this series to go and next week's is the one I am looking forward to posting the most!


End file.
